The Kinder Rescue Team Leader talks sheep rescues, Life on Mars and the busiest period in the team’s history

All the rescue team are volunteers, so what is your day job?
I’m a Special Effects Supervisor – mainly on Northwest/Yorkshire TV working on Coronation Street and Shameless. However my biggest claim to fame is the Life on Mars car explosion.

How do you get a job like that?! The BBC have recently been filming the rescue team, what was that for?
The massive demand on all mountain rescue teams was quickly picked up on by the BBC, who were keen to see what we do and where we operate from. This publicity led to a much-needed increase in donations, which was fantastic.

What five things should people do to ensure they are safe in the hills?
1.      Plan your day out and have the skills/equipment to match the plan.
2.      Let somebody know your planned route and when you should be back – mobile phones can be useful, but there are plenty of places where they don’t have signal.
3.      Check the weather forecast before setting out.
4.      Don’t forget the essentials – map, compass, whistle, torch.
5.      Don’t rely on the skills of others in the group – make sure you know how to use a map and compass. It could be the leader of the group who has a problem.
 
Which one of those is the most common mistake people make?
Number five – the inability to navigate with a map and compass.

Do you use dogs in mountain rescue and if so which dogs are best?
Yes we do use dogs. On our team we have a Collie and a trainee German Shepherd. They both have very sharp teeth, so I am not going to pick one as being best!

We won’t tell! How did the recent big freeze compare to other winters you may have experienced, in terms of work rescuing folks?
It was the busiest period in the team’s history, with more than a typical year’s number of callouts coming in a single week. Nearly all these callouts were in the Greater Manchester area, assisting the ambulance service.

What’s the worst job you have ever been on?
After 20 years on the team, overnight searches in driving rain all merge into one. However, trying to wrestle a sheep into a rescue harness on a small ledge does still have flashbacks…

Do you ever feel like a superhero, and if you were a superhero which one would you be?
No, I generally like to keep my underpants on the inside and unfortunately my climbing ability would not justify Spiderman.

For more information on the Kinder Montain Rescue Team see http://kinderdownfall.co.uk/

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The Coronation Street Creator and former village resident on Hayfield’s star characters and his current involvement in ‘The Street’

How did you get into writing Corrie and did you ever dream it would be as big as it is today?

I wrote Coronation Street when I was 23.  I was already under contract to Granada and was working on the adaptation of Captain W.E. Johns’ Biggles  books. I didn’t enjoy this at all because I knew nothing about planes.  I begged to be allowed to write something I knew about and the result was Florizel Street – that was the show’s original working title.  
I thought it might last one year, let alone 50.

Who has been your favourite character over the years and why?

I’ve never been able to have favourite characters –  it would be like having favourite children.  But, today, these many decades on, I suppose I can admit to having a soft spot for Ena, Elsie and Annie who were there from the very beginning.  And for Arthur Lowe’s performance too.  He played Leonard Swindley.

Arthur was a true legend of Hayfield. Were there lots of characters in the village then?

Little Hayfield was full of characters. One of my favourites was Vicky Slack, a tiny woman with bright twinkling eyes and curly hair, always in trousers.  She smoked a pipe and shot her own breakfast. And her towering son, Johnny, had a sports car which he was said to have assembled from a kit.

What was your involvement with Hayfield?

For the record I did not grow up in Hayfield.  Neither did I write the first episode in the Lantern Pike Inn in Little Hayfield.  There is some confusion about this because when the first episode aired I had rented a cottage in Little Hayfield.  It is true to say that many early episodes were written in a corner of the pub (I believe they have a framed note from me confirming this) but I had never even been to Hayfield at the time I wrote the very first episode, nor had I met Pat Phoenix (Elsie Tanner) who subsequently introduced me to the village.
When I first knew Pat she was living in a rented cottage in Little Hayfield.
The house Pat found for me belonged to the Landlady of the Lantern Pike Inn. It was a small whitewashed, furnished cottage tucked away at the back of Clough Lane.  The rent was three guineas a week. Last time I went back to look at it, it had been all poshed-up.
   
What are you up to at the moment?

Nowadays I am a consultant to Coronation Street. This means keeping a very close eye on every aspect of the show.  Every month I go out to lunch with the producer.  We choose restaurants where the tables are far apart and put our heads close together. We keep our voices down as we go through every house, every business and all of the characters.

2010 is Coronation Street’s 50th Anniversary
www.itv.com/Soaps/coronationstreet/

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I don’t know if you have noticed it yet, but I certainly have. You see, through all of the dark mornings, dark evenings, snow-moaning/praising, transport difficulties, lack of finances and ill tempered exchanges and much, much more, there is a very specific link that may have been initially overlooked. One massive boil on the bum of 2010 that needs to be lanced as soon as possible before it goes toxic and spreads its bacteria all over the rest of the year.

The problem? JANUARY.

Now, can anybody out there explain to me the point of January? I mean, it’s sandwiched in between two fairly good months, the present-and-food-lovely-food-fest that is Christmas and the slightly-romantic-but-slightly-tacky charms of February, and in that highly-attractive company maybe it isn’t easy to look your best. But still – give me a good reason for it to exist please? I can think of a few reasons why it shouldn’t.

Firstly – can you remember when you last got paid? Exactly. Greedy December has stolen all of January’s money, and reduced us all to scrabbling around the cheap aisle of the supermarket and sniffing three-day-old casserole in the fridge. And even though it’s a good thing that those of us lucky enough to be employed get paid at the end of the month, that’s still essentially SIX weeks of prudent living.

Secondly – what is going on with the weather? It’s cold and wet when you wake up, everybody is walking at half the speed, and the transport just doesn’t work. And if it does work, it will go a lot slower than it needs to, except when you need it to stay at the bus stop whilst you waddle towards it like a penguin from the film Happy Feet.

And finally – why is it soooooo long? January is the longest, darkest, coldest month of the year, and its little coincidence that it contains the most miserable day of the year (OFFICIALLY) – January 18th. This has been calculated as the most miserable day of the year using variables such as weather, debt, monthly salary, time since Christmas, and low motivational levels. Think it’s scant consolation that at least you’re going through it with everybody else? Well think again – those with enough money are off sunning themselves on a yacht somewhere hot. We’re not. We’re here. And please move down inside the carriage, I can’t seem to fit onto this misery train to glumsville.

Tired of my moaning? Think you’ve had enough? Well, so have I. So here’s an idea: next year, why don’t we just cut January down to one week? Just think of the perks, from only having one week of it to work before justifying taking a holiday, to only having to say ‘happy new year’ to people you haven’t seen since December for a couple of days. People who have birthdays in January can relocate their date of birth to wherever they like, and try and find the optimum day for weather, generosity and party selection. So there, it’s settled. From next year, as far as I’m concerned, January doesn’t exist. Who’s with me?

Can you think of any other reasons why we should get rid of January?

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With some residents becoming genuinely concerned Hayfield Village is pleased to be able to be the first to release the full story of what happened on Thursday evening from a reliable source-

“No SWAT team, 5 plain clothes GMP 4 Derbyshire Officers, 1 Police Dog.. NO GUNS, No armed robbery, no weapons what so ever… two burglars one stolen car..”

so despite a bit of unusual action for a sleepy rural village be reassured you can sleep soundly in your beds again!!

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Residents of Fairy Bank report that upwards of 15 non uniformed armed police apprehended suspects on Thursday evening. Residents told Hayfield Village that some of the officers came to their houses to tell them that it was a planned operation. Do you know more??? Were these Derbyshires finest or had a GMP “S.W.A.T” team pounced on our rural idyl?

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So I don’t know if any of you have guessed out there, but here in the UK it has been snowing on and off for the past week or two. You’d be forgiven for thinking that perhaps the snow was made out of razorblades dipped in acid, and being shot out of a massive cannon by a man in a big black cape and a violent-looking moustache. But you’d be mistaken. It’s just snowing. It’s not just the conversations we all end up having in the office, the fact that our colleagues all end up staring whimsically out of the windows, on lookout for the first smidgen of the white stuff, purely to come out with the classic (usually said in a loud whisper, a lot like the voiceover in an M&S advert), ‘Loooook! Issssssnowing!’ only for another person to pipe up with another snow day classic – ‘Yes, but is it settling?’ ‘It’s settling!’. And so the fun begins… Far from it from me to get on my pedestal and dare to criticise us Brits and our obsession with the weather, but after a solid week of being bombarded with ‘BIG FREEZE’ news stories about schools and a couple of farm stores having to shut, I’m getting a little bit hacked off with it. I mean, seriously – what is wrong with us? My mum works in a branch of a well-known supermarket chain in the High Peak(I hope you don’t want me to be more specific), and she has reliably informed me that people are panic-buying tin foil, candles and milk. Whole trolleys of the stuff. Have we taken leave of our senses? Where have the government orders been issued to bulk buy these items? Are Blue Peter involved in this? Are we all going to be shoved out into the snow to build a giant candle-powered foil zeppelin to whisk us off to warmer climes (with milk)? No. Probably not. It’s just snowing. Now it’s a slow news month here in the village of Hayfield because it is after all the month of January and everyone is skint, which is probably why I’m writing this piece now. And if I am, you can only imagine the rubbish the newscasters have to come up with to stir up yet another panic. So nightly, for the past 14 or so days, we’ve been subjected to essentially the same news story, but with little key amendments, like the colour of the presenter’s tie changing colour, or maybe a new hair cut on a passer-by. As Run DMC once said, it goes a little something like this…

Presenter: ‘And now we are into the 15th day of the big freeze. Isn’t this weather surprising! It’s even snowing in Hayfield, where we can now cross live to our Correspondent for the High Peak, Jon Johnston. Are you there Jon?’

Correspondent: ‘Yes.’

Presenter: ‘Good. What’s the weather like there?’

Correspondent: ‘It’s still snowing.’

Presenter: ‘Really?’

Correspondent: ‘Yes. Some schools have closed, and my brother-in-law slipped up when he took the dog for a walk. The local council have asked for people to remain calm, unless they are venturing into town. If they are venturing into town, then can they bulk buy as much milk, tin foil and candles as is humanly possible. You can’t be too careful.’

Presenter: ‘Thanks Jon. So just to recap, it’s snowing?’

Correspondent: ‘Yes. Yes it is snowing. Buy Tinfoil, candles and milk.’

Presenter: ‘Thanks again Jon, stay safe… So, candles, milk and foil – have you got yours?’

And that’s about the gist of it. So, in the spirit of the silly season that is January, I now strongly urge you to bulk buy as many pints in the village pubs, as many meals in the village restaurants, a few bags of chips from the village chippy, as many cans of beans as Deano has on his shelves, a few slice of cake from Rosies cafe as many sweets as your children’s teeth will stand from Mrs Shaw’s shop, a full sack of carrots from Derbyshires, you also need a new hair style from the village hairdressers, a piece of nice art from the Gallery and finally some cash back and a couple of stamps from the post office. Because you can’t be too careful if you don’t use it you’ll lose it!!

Happy snow day to all!

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While villagers still struggle to get in and out of the village after yet another day of NO grit even through the centre of the village nearby Chapel-en-le-Frith appears to be growing a grit mountain!!!

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Roughly 1600 homes were plunged into darkness in Hayfield, Little Hayfield & Birch Vale earlier this evening when a fire in a transformer at Hyperlast Birch Vale caused a small explosion.

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Some visitors to Hayfield were overheard questioning whether the Russians were coming or indeed had arrived on Glossop Road as the snow fell.

Those lovely winter hats sported by our local law enforcers were the culprits, apparently not a sight often seen in Hampshire.

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A fine job they do and very pleased we were to see them on Saturday night up Chunal shortly after a couple of cars had gone slide about…

But have you seen many about? It seems to us that virtually every other village has had better service than Hayfield or is it paranoia?

Let us know what you think…

The map comes from the Derbyshire CC website, the blue lines show where the gritters are to be found.

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